Here is the link to A Breastfeeding Journey Part 1. And the story continues…

Chapter 4: Ling Ling

I failed to mention that Haley, Haven and Paisley were all born at home.  I often forget to mention that as it seems so normal (to me). But, writing the story of my 4th child I can’t not think about place of birth.

I blogged about Sterling’s birth on my old blog.  So as not to have to rewrite it all I’ll copy/paste it here (very long):

Not the birth I planned for, but the baby I prayed for

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Today I have learned that my Almighty Father has a great plan for my life. It is not the plan I thought He had but one that is far better.

At 8:41am (Monday March 9th), I gave birth to my 4th child- a son we joyfully named Sterling Marshall. Sterling was 8lbs 9oz, 22” long, with a large 15” head. His hands are huge and his feet are long and gangly!

Sterling was not an easy birth. As a matter of fact my pregnancy with him was filled with difficulties as well.

Here are the generalities of Sterling’s birth. There are specific terms about his position I can’t remember but you’ll get the picture.

Labor “officially” began in my mind at 10:50pm on Sunday March 8th. I was watching 27 Dresses while sitting on the birth ball. As I stood up I had one of those “this is it” contractions.

I called the midwives and because they are so awesome they were already on their way! We all thought that baby would come fast after the water broke so they told me to keep my water intact lol. My body had done an awesome job of effacing and dilating which is why we all thought things would go fast.

When the midwives arrived they checked my cervix and Stacy commented that I was a 12…Michael said, “I thought it only goes to 10cm?” Hehe, that’s how stretchy I was.
I began pushing at about 1:30am.

My precious Sterling has already proven to us that he is an independent, determined-to-do-things-my-way child.

To back track, on March 4th I had a cervical check and Stacy found him to have his hands above his head. She moved them and I did things (butt in the air, Pulsatilla, etc) to get baby in a good birthing position. Fortunately, he moved his hands but during labor we found that he went into a series of bad positions from brow, to foot by head, to ear first, to military presentation. That’s what I remember hearing them discuss through the horrible pain I was in. Basically, he was refusing to settle into a good position.

After pushing for 3 hours with no progress I knew something was wrong. The pain was severe and baby would not go under my pubic bone. I pushed for another 1 ½ hours and knew I needed to get to the hospital.

The midwives were great and explained everything. Joy called ahead to the hospital and literally they greeted us with open arms (well everyone except the ER nurse who was an idiot…”oh, she’s pregnant?” No, duh! Lady.)

Driving to the hospital was unbearable. At this point contractions were coming right on top of each other with no relief anywhere. I prayed I would pass out, I prayed for mercy. I honestly felt that God had left me alone. However, in hindsight, like the poem Footprints I know He was carrying me at this time.
When we arrived at the hospital about 5:45 they started me on Phentanyl.

“Supposedly” it was going to take the edge off but because my body metabolizes toxins superfast I got NO relief. I was ticked and was thinking “what the heck?? I’m in a freaking hospital someone make this pain go away!!

Finally, they called the nurse anesthetist and told me he was on his way in. Good Lord, that was at about 6:30 and he did not arrive until almost 7:30! The contractions were still coming fast and furious and I was at the end of my sanity. I was literally writhing on the bed in pain just trying to get through the contractions. At this point I had been pushing for 6 hours.

When Rob the epidural nurse arrived I wanted to cry. I still endured 3 more contractions from his prep to the time it took effect but knowing it would soon end got me through.

The entire staff was amazing. My nurse Jodie is an angel sent by God. The OB on duty, Dr. Wampler, was a steady, calm, sweet woman who supported ALL of our decisions. After pushing for another 45+ minutes with no progress passed the pubic bone we opted to use the “suction cup”. I call it that instead of the vacuum extraction because nothing like what I imagined. Once that was in place I pushed him out in one contraction. His birth presentation was a military or face presentation.

I cried tears of joy at the finality of it and the announcement by Michael that we had a boy. We knew all along.

Since moving to Kerrville, we have been blessed in every single action we have taken. This hospital was amazing! The babies never leave mom’s room and each and everything we wanted was honored. Most were assumed since they all knew we had had 3 previously successful homebirths.

Dr. Wampler knew we wanted to be at home so released us right away. Of course the whole peeing after you give birth thing is always hard for me and you can’t leave until you do that. I finally peed at 12 and we were off!

Although Sterling arrived at the hospital I am not at all disappointed. The pain was unbearable and everyone involved agreed that getting him passed my pubic bones was not going to happen. This is what hospitals are for! No it wasn’t an emergency in the sense that baby or I were in danger but it was a necessity.

I was baffled at why he wasn’t coming out with the strength of my pushes. I mean I had done this 3 other times. Just goes to show you, every birth is different!

The 7 hours and 15 minutes of pushing took a big toll on my body. I am extremely swollen and sore. My neck and arms are sorer than when I used to lift weights for college track workouts! Prayers for a quick healing are appreciated!

At the end of all this I want to share with you one of my most favorite Bible passages:

James 1: 2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

After all of that, I really needed breastfeeding to be easy.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t.  I am convinced that Sterling was a bit tongue tied but after a couple of months of painful nursing things got better.  I believe it was because his frenulum stretched out which will happen in most cases.

Because of Sterling’s attachment problem we implemented the use of a pacifier.  This was a first for us.  We waited 3-4 weeks before starting him with one because of the chances of nipple confusion.  Having never used one before we didn’t want to create more problems so we were cautious.

The pacifier took away an aspect of nursing that was there with the first 3.  Sterling could use the pacifier for comfort instead of me.  In most cases this was fine but there were times when he would get hurt and I wanted him to want to nurse for comfort.  I loved being that for my children.

Due to my history of not starting to cycle until around 18 months, I can say that using the pacifier messed that up for me.  My cycle returned at 9 months this time despite on demand nursing.

This wasn’t an entirely bad thing especially for that selfish part of me that is always ready for another pregnancy when my children are a year old.

When Sterling was 13 months old I got the much anticipated positive pregnancy test.

I continued nursing Sterling until he was 17 months old.  Once I night weaned Sterling at about 15 months the nursing cut way back.  He nursed maybe once or twice a day.  I remember the last time I nursed Sterling, it was at the Baby Conference.  The last time was very brief and he never looked back.

Chapter 5: Baby, Camdum

Although Michael and I trust the Lord with our family size, after Sterling’s birth I firmly attested that “we were done”.  I was hurt emotionally from his birth.  I wanted to take control, permanent control.  I remember telling my sister-in-law that I wanted Michael to have surgery! YIKES!

Praise our glorious Father, He loves me so much that He let me go through the healing process then without me realizing it He transformed my thoughts.  As Michael and I lay in bed one night I turned to him and said, “We’re not done yet.”  He said, “I knew we weren’t.”

On January 3, 2011, God blessed us in 2 ways.  First, was the redemption of my ability to birth naturally at home again.  I can’t deny that a very small part of me wondered if I would be able to do it after Sterling’s birth.

I was freed from that weight I had allowed to hang around my neck.

The second and by far more important blessing was another son!  Camden Elijah was my biggest baby at 9lbs and because I love numbers I think it is wonderful that he was born at 3:03 on the 3rd in the 1st month.  Now, all my family has birthdays in months 1, 3, 6, 9 and 12.  This relates in no way to breastfeeding.

Camden has nursed like a pro from day one.  I find it funny that a newborn comes out knowing how to do something so well.

Today marks 4 wks of our nursing relationship.  I look forward to many more months, Lord willing.

Every story has a beginning.  A good one.  A bad one. Or both.

My breastfeeding journey begins as both.

Chapter 1: Cha-hisser

On March 20, 2002, after an excrutiatingly long labor that involved 5 1/2 hours of pushing (no typo) I finally gave birth to our 1st child.  A girl.  Haley Annabelle, 7lbs 15 1/2 oz, 21″.

I lost a lot of blood after her birth.  I was exhausted, weak and excited. She, too, was tired.  Wouldn’t you be if you were stuck in the birth canal for more than 5 hours!

Our nursing relationship didn’t start for 24 hours after birth.  Yep, she slept, I slept.  Was I concerned?  No, because I trusted God’s design of birth, life and mothering.  I knew she would eat when it was time.

There was never any question whether we would breastfeed.  Michael and I were chiropractic students, young and prideful.  This led to our vocal stance that if you loved your child you would breastfeed exclusively.

This is the good and bad. It was a good thing we held this position because of the difficult time I had breastfeeding.  If I had believed any less I would have certainly given up, most would.  It was bad because I was  judgmental about those who didn’t breastfeed. God used the passion to sustain the nursing and mercifully moved us past the arrogance.

My nipples bled and I cried for the first 4 months! If it wasn’t for my husband teaching me to breastfeed (seriously) I would have continued doing the wrong thing for the 18 months we nursed.

I was ever so grateful for the lactation consultant who just happened to be teaching Michael’s class that day.

I nursed Haley on demand until the day I got my positive pregnancy test (18 months), which was the month after my cycle returned.  I remember laying in bed with her the last time she nursed.  It wasn’t hard for her to let go.  Those independent first-borns.

Chapter 2: Little Bear

For every minute that my 2nd child’s labor was exponentially easier than my first, he made up for it in his disposition.  Haven Alexander was born June 23, 2004 after a short 4 hour (32 minutes pushing) labor.  He came out already crying..okay so it was a nano-second after his face touched the air but he was crying!

It was almost an expected thing for him to cry so intensely and immediately.  It simply reflected the deep financial trouble Michael and I were in throughout my pregnancy and after his birth.  Haven was a respite in the midst of a storm.

Nursing was easy from the start but like his sister, he didn’t nurse for 24 hours.  Haven made it clear that he was a momma’s boy from the beginning and that meant me/my breasts couldn’t go far.

We again nursed on demand, as we feel this is what’s best for babies.  We don’t do it for ammenorhea reasons although in my case it tends to be beneficial in that area.

Haven didn’t eat many solids until after a year and nursed multiple times at night.  I was tired.

My cycle returned at 18 months postpartum and I was pregnant with #3 a couple of months later.  Weaning Haven wasn’t happening.  Even at 18 months he was nursing a LOT.

We continued nursing into the pregnancy but I was losing the love of nursing.  Haven was demanding, I was selfish.

One night while sitting up nursing him I picked up the book “What About Me?” by Max Lucado.  I only read a few pages and they were the ones God wanted me to read. I no longer saw nursing Haven as a chore and burden.  Instead I looked at these precious moments as a blessing that wouldn’t last forever.  Someday I would miss this relationship that only we shared.

Haven weaned when he was 26 months old.  It was August 2006, and I was 5 months pregnant.

Chapter 3: Baby Bear, Crazy Paizy

Life was beautiful when our 3rd child entered the world.  We owned a house, we were making money and best of all our walk with the Lord was growing (albeit slowly). My labor was filled with prayer and Scripture. God was glorified!

On December 15, 2006, Paisley Elizabeth was born.  My biggest baby yet at 8lbs 12oz.  She nursed right away and with amazing force.  This girl knew what she was doing and wanted food.

Paisley proved to be much different than her big brother.  She enjoyed nursing but for her it was about nourishment more than comfort. From 3 months she was watching me eat with intense concentration.  At 6 months Paisley was ready to eat with us.

My cycle returned somewhere around 17 months and I was soon pregnant.  My 4th pregnancy quickly ended with an early miscarriage.  I was devastated.  I learned a lot, like nothing is a sure thing.  Life can be brief, very brief.  God blessed us quickly with another pregnancy the next month, June 2008.

I nursed Paisley until she was 21 months old.  I wrote a letter to Paisley as our nursing relationship ended:

Dear Paisley,

On September 16th (2008) you and I shared a last experience. I have recorded all your firsts but very few lasts. It was a gorgeous day. The weather was a perfect 78 degrees with the sun shining. As we finished lunch I asked you if you were ready for a nap. Just like you always do you took my hand and led me to my bed. I remember that I had actually fully made my bed that day with our big comforter. I spread out a sheet on top and you were so impatient! We laid down and I let you know that we wouldn’t be nursing for much longer. I told you that you were a big girl now and mommy would miss nursing you. You eagerly pulled up my shirt to nurse and quickly fell asleep. As I unlatched you, you began to cry-in a mad way. Sometimes you do that. I think you are asleep but you haven’t yet fully fallen. I said “shhhhh” and held your leg (you like that) and you slowly quieted and fell asleep. I walked out the room saying goodbye to one of the most precious moments we have ever shared. I loved nursing you. There could not have been a better relationship. I have been so blessed and I will miss our time so much. But through the tears I know there will be many more memories to fill this empty spot. Now every snuggle, every smile, every boo boo will be all the more cherished. Thank you for a perfect (and I mean perfect) 21 months of nursing.

Love, Mommy

Wow. That’s the first time I have read this letter since then.  I’m filled with so much joy and love right now and of course I’m crying.

The journey to be continued in Part 2…

It’s a good thing no one’s life depends on my next post. I said I’d post healthy ways to cook your food well over a week ago.

Here are some things that helped me when I first began to cook healthy meals:

1) Buy good cookbooks.  For me (this was 6 or 7 years ago, I’m sure there are better books now) Andrew Weil’s book The Healthy Kitchen and the diet book The Sonoma Diet were pivotal.  Weil’s book was the first healthy cookbook I ever owned.  It doesn’t have a lot of recipes in it but the ones it does have are easy to make and I use them often.  My crust recipe came from it as does my granola.  Both are amazing.  I couldn’t imagine ever buying crust after you’ve made it yourself.

The Healthy Kitchen was an introduction for me.  It got my feet wet and helped with those feelings of being overwhelmed.  I didn’t look at it and panic.

The Sonoma Diet on the other hand gave me hives But, please don’t let that stop you.  Like anything that is worth it, the recipes in the Sonoma Diet take work.  And like every new venture after a few times doing it, it is second nature.  The Sonoma Diet has amazing recipes.  It changed out menu from same-ole-same-ole to restaurant quality.  Our kids got excited for Szechuan, Flank steak kabobs, Napa cabbage dishes, Risotto, etc.

I had never heard of Napa cabbage then suddenly I was buying it every week (which, by the way, it is yummy).  The Sonoma Diet is a lot of chopping but another reason I really liked it is because of it’s take on health.  Lots and lots of veggies, some protein and very little carbs- usually in the form of a whole grain like quinoa or barley.

It also provides snack ideas and daily menus.

2) Make a menu and grocery list.  I’m sure most of you already do this but it took me a long time to get there.  Occasionally, I’ll go without a list and it’s terrible.  I get a piece of paper and write Monday: B: L: D:  Then I fill in every meal for 5 or 6 days.  I have to also write reminders to myself for when to lay meat out or prepare something in advance.

I make sure to plan in dinner out once or twice also. We budget for it and it provides a little excitement for me

I have heard commercials for things like emealz.com on Dave Ramsey.  Never looked into it but it sounds nifty.

3) Prepare meals in advance.  I did this a few times and loved the convenience.  I wish I could say I did it on my own accord but I actually went to one of those meal places.  There just happened to be one next door to Michael’s chiropractic office.  The basic premise is that your meats are marinating in a bag and ready to dump in a dish whenever.  On the meat bag it listed cooking details and side dishes.  For me, if I have the meat ready I’m good to go.  I can steam a veggie like anyone else.

After my post on developing healthy eating habits, I was strongly convicted in the middle of the night.  I realized how insensitive I probably came off.  I remember very well how intimidating it was to make food changes.  We get defensive over our diets.  But, even more so than that I realize how utterly broke we were when we began to make changes.

How did we make healthy changes when we were broke?? We ate a lot of beans and broccoli. We paid attention to labels. We realized that if we didn’t have much money for groceries then what we did buy better be good.

No we didn’t buy much organic but we drew a line about the ingredients I listed in the other post (no trans-fats, no MSG, no artificial sweetners…).

I just love that I wrote about healthy eating habits then our homeschool mom’s meeting was about healthy eating.  Sweet! What an awesome reminder to me about things I knew but have taken for granted that not everyone knows.  I tend to think all homeschool moms do the same things I do.  Obviously, this isn’t so.

Here are a few websites about healthy living:

http://www.seedsofdeception.com/Public/Home/index.cfm

http://www.mercola.com/

http://realmilk.com/why.html

http://www.nongmoshoppingguide.com

We all know how hard it is for us as adults to make changes, especially changes to our diet.  For example, I simply do not think it is possible for me to stop making brownies (but they’re homemade and organic and full of fiber…lol).

That is why we have taught our children from the very beginning what is healthy eating.  We don’t just teach them about though, we actually eat healthy.  Because I know for some this seems like an impossible task, here are some things that we do.  Small things you can do to improve your families health.

***Don’t get half-way through this list and get frustrated. Remember I had to make these changes at some point in my life too! I survived and now this is my new normal.  If necessary pick 1 change to make every grocery trip. In my next post I’ll give you easy meal and snack ideas.***

1) DO NOT buy anything with High Fructose Corn Syrup (watch video at the end of the post), MSG- monosodium glutamate, Trans Fats-partially hydrogenated or fully hydrogenated or artificial sweetners- Sucralose, aspartame, acesulfame K, Splenda, Sweet ‘n Low, Equal.

2) Buy hormone and anti-biotic free meats.  If possible buy a 1/2 cow.  We purchased a 1/2 fully grass-fed longhorn last year and have been very happy.  Of course you will need freezer space to accomplish this.  Eat deer meat.  We live in south Texas so deer meat is prolific.  I’m sure this isn’t the case everywhere but if you know a hunter ask them if they’ll shoot a deer for your family.  Lunchmeats- Hormel and Oscar Meyer do make a line that is free of nitrates and nitrites.  Hot dogs- buy all beef. Costco sells a brand that is all beef and free of nitrates/nitrites.

3) Buy organic, at the very least, of these 10:

10 Fruits And Vegetables To Buy Organic

• Peaches : Summer’s blushing fruit contains high residues of iprodione, classified as a probable human carcinogen by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) and methyl parathion, an endocrine disruptor and organophosphate (OP) insecticide. Methyl parathion has caused massive kills of bees and birds. According to Consumer Reports, single servings of peaches “consistently exceeded” EPA’s safe daily limit for a 44-pound child.
• Apples: Apples may contain methyl parathion. Both fresh apples and baby food applesauce can also contain chlorpyrifos, an OP which has caused large bird kills.
• Nectarines: In the EWG’s most recent testing, nectarines had the highest percentage of samples test positive for pesticides (97.3 percent). Common pesticides found on nectarines include chlorpyrifos, fenarimol, iprodione, malathion, methidathion, myclobutanil, parathion and pirimicarb
• Strawberries : The enhanced red color of strawberries comes from the fungicide captan, a probable human carcinogen that can irritate skin and eyes, and is highly toxic to fish. While the lethal soil fumigant methyl bromide doesn’t show up on the fruit, it has harmed California farm workers, and depletes the ozone layer.
• Pears: Pears, both fresh and in baby food, can also come with methyl parathion, as well as the OP azinphos-methyl, which is toxic to freshwater fish, amphibians and bees.
• Sweet Bell Peppers: There are many varieties of sweet bell peppers and perhaps even more different types of pesticides used on them. Testing ranked sweet bell peppers as the vegetable with the most pesticides found in a single sample and the vegetable with the most pesticides overall.
• Celery: In testing, celery had the highest percentage of samples test positive for pesticides and the highest likelihood of having multiple pesticides in a single sample.
• Imported Grapes: Imported grapes contain methyl parathion and methomyl, a carbamate insecticide listed as an endocrine disruptor; as well as dimethoate. Since they are grown under different regulations and guidelines, there pesticide residue levels frequently exceed acceptable levels set by our own government.
• Spinach: Permethrin, a possible human carcinogen, and dimethoate dominate spinach’s toxicity ratings, but CU notes that residue levels have been declining as U.S. farmers reduce use of these insecticides. DDT has been found in spinach, which leads all foods in exceeding safety tolerances.
• Potatoes : Pesticide use on potatoes is growing, CU warns. They may contain dieldrin and methamidophos, and children eating potatoes risk getting a very high dose of aldicarb, CU says.

4) Do NOT buy candy, packaged cookies, ice cream or junk food (you know, anything with HFCS ) If you want to have a treat for your kids buy a package of the 60% Ghiardelli chips and give them a couple here and there.  Our kids LOVE their chocolate.  We prefer 70% or greater but the chips are easy to dispense.

5) Milk.  The best option: Raw cow or goat milk. Next best: Organic jersy cow milk (Horizon is holstein) or Promise Land (jersey cow milk with no hormones or antibiotics).

6) Butter. Buy organic. Yes, it’s pricey but watch for sales.

7) Don’t drink tap water. Don’t drink distilled water. If you drink caffeine-free tea or coffee make sure it is swiss-water decaf.  And PLEASE!! NEVER BUY ANOTHER SODA AGAIN! I have a confession. About every three months I’ll drink a rootbeer. I know it is bad and I want that craving gone.  From this point forward if I crave a rootbeer it will be an organic brand from the health food store– with NO HFCS.

So, what do we eat??? I’ll save this for the next blog post.