Today has been a GOOD day!!

1. I got up within 15 minutes of the alarm going off at 7 AM.  That’s early.  Michael desires that we be up at 7 and to honor his wishes makes me feel oh so good-wifeish.  He’s a little neurotic.
2. Haley is finished with school work BEFORE lunch! Wow.  This waking up early has many perks.
3. I’m not tired yet but I am famished.  My little tummy (ha! that is funny that I just said little) is used to eating at 8:30.
4. Sterling’s nighttime diaper was dry.  It has been many times before so this time I took the cue.  We began potty training. And guess what???

HE PEED IN THE POTTY!

…after 6 or 7 mini-squirts on the floor throughout the morning.  But, that’s ok.  He’d come to me and say, “I already peed.”

And, I feel this is worth mentioning, Camden has been so happy today.  Happy like, sitting in his swing awake and staring off contentedly.  Happy and not spitting up.  Happy probably because he slept the WHOLE night last night.  WHOLE= until 5ish am.  That’s pretty close to the whole night

That 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep I was dreaming of would have happened if my 4yo wouldn’t have crawled in our bed and kicked me all night. Yes, I could have gotten up and put her back in bed but being kicked while in bed seems so much easier than getting up.

Oh, so that chili pepper chocolate I talked about in the title.  Everyone deserves a reward for peeing in the potty.  Chocolate is the best reward.

Unfortunately for Sterling, the only chocolate I had on hand was a little spicy

Yesterday our beloved family dog, Chance, passed away. He was my first baby.

Michael and I married in August 1998 and got Chance in October.  He went everywhere with us.

Chance lived in 10 different houses and saw the birth of 5 children.

I cried for hours yesterday. My eyes were practically swollen shut.  Seeing his bed makes me cry.

Today a friend rang the doorbell…there was silence.  I wanted to cry again.  Chance always barked like crazy when the doorbell rang.

I really miss him.

Here is the link to A Breastfeeding Journey Part 1. And the story continues…

Chapter 4: Ling Ling

I failed to mention that Haley, Haven and Paisley were all born at home.  I often forget to mention that as it seems so normal (to me). But, writing the story of my 4th child I can’t not think about place of birth.

I blogged about Sterling’s birth on my old blog.  So as not to have to rewrite it all I’ll copy/paste it here (very long):

Not the birth I planned for, but the baby I prayed for

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Today I have learned that my Almighty Father has a great plan for my life. It is not the plan I thought He had but one that is far better.

At 8:41am (Monday March 9th), I gave birth to my 4th child- a son we joyfully named Sterling Marshall. Sterling was 8lbs 9oz, 22” long, with a large 15” head. His hands are huge and his feet are long and gangly!

Sterling was not an easy birth. As a matter of fact my pregnancy with him was filled with difficulties as well.

Here are the generalities of Sterling’s birth. There are specific terms about his position I can’t remember but you’ll get the picture.

Labor “officially” began in my mind at 10:50pm on Sunday March 8th. I was watching 27 Dresses while sitting on the birth ball. As I stood up I had one of those “this is it” contractions.

I called the midwives and because they are so awesome they were already on their way! We all thought that baby would come fast after the water broke so they told me to keep my water intact lol. My body had done an awesome job of effacing and dilating which is why we all thought things would go fast.

When the midwives arrived they checked my cervix and Stacy commented that I was a 12…Michael said, “I thought it only goes to 10cm?” Hehe, that’s how stretchy I was.
I began pushing at about 1:30am.

My precious Sterling has already proven to us that he is an independent, determined-to-do-things-my-way child.

To back track, on March 4th I had a cervical check and Stacy found him to have his hands above his head. She moved them and I did things (butt in the air, Pulsatilla, etc) to get baby in a good birthing position. Fortunately, he moved his hands but during labor we found that he went into a series of bad positions from brow, to foot by head, to ear first, to military presentation. That’s what I remember hearing them discuss through the horrible pain I was in. Basically, he was refusing to settle into a good position.

After pushing for 3 hours with no progress I knew something was wrong. The pain was severe and baby would not go under my pubic bone. I pushed for another 1 ½ hours and knew I needed to get to the hospital.

The midwives were great and explained everything. Joy called ahead to the hospital and literally they greeted us with open arms (well everyone except the ER nurse who was an idiot…”oh, she’s pregnant?” No, duh! Lady.)

Driving to the hospital was unbearable. At this point contractions were coming right on top of each other with no relief anywhere. I prayed I would pass out, I prayed for mercy. I honestly felt that God had left me alone. However, in hindsight, like the poem Footprints I know He was carrying me at this time.
When we arrived at the hospital about 5:45 they started me on Phentanyl.

“Supposedly” it was going to take the edge off but because my body metabolizes toxins superfast I got NO relief. I was ticked and was thinking “what the heck?? I’m in a freaking hospital someone make this pain go away!!

Finally, they called the nurse anesthetist and told me he was on his way in. Good Lord, that was at about 6:30 and he did not arrive until almost 7:30! The contractions were still coming fast and furious and I was at the end of my sanity. I was literally writhing on the bed in pain just trying to get through the contractions. At this point I had been pushing for 6 hours.

When Rob the epidural nurse arrived I wanted to cry. I still endured 3 more contractions from his prep to the time it took effect but knowing it would soon end got me through.

The entire staff was amazing. My nurse Jodie is an angel sent by God. The OB on duty, Dr. Wampler, was a steady, calm, sweet woman who supported ALL of our decisions. After pushing for another 45+ minutes with no progress passed the pubic bone we opted to use the “suction cup”. I call it that instead of the vacuum extraction because nothing like what I imagined. Once that was in place I pushed him out in one contraction. His birth presentation was a military or face presentation.

I cried tears of joy at the finality of it and the announcement by Michael that we had a boy. We knew all along.

Since moving to Kerrville, we have been blessed in every single action we have taken. This hospital was amazing! The babies never leave mom’s room and each and everything we wanted was honored. Most were assumed since they all knew we had had 3 previously successful homebirths.

Dr. Wampler knew we wanted to be at home so released us right away. Of course the whole peeing after you give birth thing is always hard for me and you can’t leave until you do that. I finally peed at 12 and we were off!

Although Sterling arrived at the hospital I am not at all disappointed. The pain was unbearable and everyone involved agreed that getting him passed my pubic bones was not going to happen. This is what hospitals are for! No it wasn’t an emergency in the sense that baby or I were in danger but it was a necessity.

I was baffled at why he wasn’t coming out with the strength of my pushes. I mean I had done this 3 other times. Just goes to show you, every birth is different!

The 7 hours and 15 minutes of pushing took a big toll on my body. I am extremely swollen and sore. My neck and arms are sorer than when I used to lift weights for college track workouts! Prayers for a quick healing are appreciated!

At the end of all this I want to share with you one of my most favorite Bible passages:

James 1: 2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

After all of that, I really needed breastfeeding to be easy.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t.  I am convinced that Sterling was a bit tongue tied but after a couple of months of painful nursing things got better.  I believe it was because his frenulum stretched out which will happen in most cases.

Because of Sterling’s attachment problem we implemented the use of a pacifier.  This was a first for us.  We waited 3-4 weeks before starting him with one because of the chances of nipple confusion.  Having never used one before we didn’t want to create more problems so we were cautious.

The pacifier took away an aspect of nursing that was there with the first 3.  Sterling could use the pacifier for comfort instead of me.  In most cases this was fine but there were times when he would get hurt and I wanted him to want to nurse for comfort.  I loved being that for my children.

Due to my history of not starting to cycle until around 18 months, I can say that using the pacifier messed that up for me.  My cycle returned at 9 months this time despite on demand nursing.

This wasn’t an entirely bad thing especially for that selfish part of me that is always ready for another pregnancy when my children are a year old.

When Sterling was 13 months old I got the much anticipated positive pregnancy test.

I continued nursing Sterling until he was 17 months old.  Once I night weaned Sterling at about 15 months the nursing cut way back.  He nursed maybe once or twice a day.  I remember the last time I nursed Sterling, it was at the Baby Conference.  The last time was very brief and he never looked back.

Chapter 5: Baby, Camdum

Although Michael and I trust the Lord with our family size, after Sterling’s birth I firmly attested that “we were done”.  I was hurt emotionally from his birth.  I wanted to take control, permanent control.  I remember telling my sister-in-law that I wanted Michael to have surgery! YIKES!

Praise our glorious Father, He loves me so much that He let me go through the healing process then without me realizing it He transformed my thoughts.  As Michael and I lay in bed one night I turned to him and said, “We’re not done yet.”  He said, “I knew we weren’t.”

On January 3, 2011, God blessed us in 2 ways.  First, was the redemption of my ability to birth naturally at home again.  I can’t deny that a very small part of me wondered if I would be able to do it after Sterling’s birth.

I was freed from that weight I had allowed to hang around my neck.

The second and by far more important blessing was another son!  Camden Elijah was my biggest baby at 9lbs and because I love numbers I think it is wonderful that he was born at 3:03 on the 3rd in the 1st month.  Now, all my family has birthdays in months 1, 3, 6, 9 and 12.  This relates in no way to breastfeeding.

Camden has nursed like a pro from day one.  I find it funny that a newborn comes out knowing how to do something so well.

Today marks 4 wks of our nursing relationship.  I look forward to many more months, Lord willing.

Every story has a beginning.  A good one.  A bad one. Or both.

My breastfeeding journey begins as both.

Chapter 1: Cha-hisser

On March 20, 2002, after an excrutiatingly long labor that involved 5 1/2 hours of pushing (no typo) I finally gave birth to our 1st child.  A girl.  Haley Annabelle, 7lbs 15 1/2 oz, 21″.

I lost a lot of blood after her birth.  I was exhausted, weak and excited. She, too, was tired.  Wouldn’t you be if you were stuck in the birth canal for more than 5 hours!

Our nursing relationship didn’t start for 24 hours after birth.  Yep, she slept, I slept.  Was I concerned?  No, because I trusted God’s design of birth, life and mothering.  I knew she would eat when it was time.

There was never any question whether we would breastfeed.  Michael and I were chiropractic students, young and prideful.  This led to our vocal stance that if you loved your child you would breastfeed exclusively.

This is the good and bad. It was a good thing we held this position because of the difficult time I had breastfeeding.  If I had believed any less I would have certainly given up, most would.  It was bad because I was  judgmental about those who didn’t breastfeed. God used the passion to sustain the nursing and mercifully moved us past the arrogance.

My nipples bled and I cried for the first 4 months! If it wasn’t for my husband teaching me to breastfeed (seriously) I would have continued doing the wrong thing for the 18 months we nursed.

I was ever so grateful for the lactation consultant who just happened to be teaching Michael’s class that day.

I nursed Haley on demand until the day I got my positive pregnancy test (18 months), which was the month after my cycle returned.  I remember laying in bed with her the last time she nursed.  It wasn’t hard for her to let go.  Those independent first-borns.

Chapter 2: Little Bear

For every minute that my 2nd child’s labor was exponentially easier than my first, he made up for it in his disposition.  Haven Alexander was born June 23, 2004 after a short 4 hour (32 minutes pushing) labor.  He came out already crying..okay so it was a nano-second after his face touched the air but he was crying!

It was almost an expected thing for him to cry so intensely and immediately.  It simply reflected the deep financial trouble Michael and I were in throughout my pregnancy and after his birth.  Haven was a respite in the midst of a storm.

Nursing was easy from the start but like his sister, he didn’t nurse for 24 hours.  Haven made it clear that he was a momma’s boy from the beginning and that meant me/my breasts couldn’t go far.

We again nursed on demand, as we feel this is what’s best for babies.  We don’t do it for ammenorhea reasons although in my case it tends to be beneficial in that area.

Haven didn’t eat many solids until after a year and nursed multiple times at night.  I was tired.

My cycle returned at 18 months postpartum and I was pregnant with #3 a couple of months later.  Weaning Haven wasn’t happening.  Even at 18 months he was nursing a LOT.

We continued nursing into the pregnancy but I was losing the love of nursing.  Haven was demanding, I was selfish.

One night while sitting up nursing him I picked up the book “What About Me?” by Max Lucado.  I only read a few pages and they were the ones God wanted me to read. I no longer saw nursing Haven as a chore and burden.  Instead I looked at these precious moments as a blessing that wouldn’t last forever.  Someday I would miss this relationship that only we shared.

Haven weaned when he was 26 months old.  It was August 2006, and I was 5 months pregnant.

Chapter 3: Baby Bear, Crazy Paizy

Life was beautiful when our 3rd child entered the world.  We owned a house, we were making money and best of all our walk with the Lord was growing (albeit slowly). My labor was filled with prayer and Scripture. God was glorified!

On December 15, 2006, Paisley Elizabeth was born.  My biggest baby yet at 8lbs 12oz.  She nursed right away and with amazing force.  This girl knew what she was doing and wanted food.

Paisley proved to be much different than her big brother.  She enjoyed nursing but for her it was about nourishment more than comfort. From 3 months she was watching me eat with intense concentration.  At 6 months Paisley was ready to eat with us.

My cycle returned somewhere around 17 months and I was soon pregnant.  My 4th pregnancy quickly ended with an early miscarriage.  I was devastated.  I learned a lot, like nothing is a sure thing.  Life can be brief, very brief.  God blessed us quickly with another pregnancy the next month, June 2008.

I nursed Paisley until she was 21 months old.  I wrote a letter to Paisley as our nursing relationship ended:

Dear Paisley,

On September 16th (2008) you and I shared a last experience. I have recorded all your firsts but very few lasts. It was a gorgeous day. The weather was a perfect 78 degrees with the sun shining. As we finished lunch I asked you if you were ready for a nap. Just like you always do you took my hand and led me to my bed. I remember that I had actually fully made my bed that day with our big comforter. I spread out a sheet on top and you were so impatient! We laid down and I let you know that we wouldn’t be nursing for much longer. I told you that you were a big girl now and mommy would miss nursing you. You eagerly pulled up my shirt to nurse and quickly fell asleep. As I unlatched you, you began to cry-in a mad way. Sometimes you do that. I think you are asleep but you haven’t yet fully fallen. I said “shhhhh” and held your leg (you like that) and you slowly quieted and fell asleep. I walked out the room saying goodbye to one of the most precious moments we have ever shared. I loved nursing you. There could not have been a better relationship. I have been so blessed and I will miss our time so much. But through the tears I know there will be many more memories to fill this empty spot. Now every snuggle, every smile, every boo boo will be all the more cherished. Thank you for a perfect (and I mean perfect) 21 months of nursing.

Love, Mommy

Wow. That’s the first time I have read this letter since then.  I’m filled with so much joy and love right now and of course I’m crying.

The journey to be continued in Part 2…

Last night as we were laying in bed I grabbed Michael’s phone to take a picture of Camden.  I accidentally hit the button and captured this!!

There was virtually no light so I edited it a ton to make a visible and somewhat decent.

Don’t you just love the joy this smile exudes??!

And just in case you were wondering, Camden is 3 1/2 wks old, 12lbs and 23″ long.

I opted to forgo the Christmas cards this year and simply wait to send out birth announcements.  However, I know how sad that makes you so here’s a virtual one to hang over your virtual fireplace.

ADHD= We didn’t begin training him early enough which gave him the impression that it is okay to have the attention span of a fruit fly unless the subject at hand is viewed as interesting to him.

Just in case you were wondering.

Most books that we read are enjoyed by the whole family.  There are those, like The Wind In The Willows, that barely hold my attention but like I said most are a hit.

However, even when a book is a hit there is rarely a reading session that isn’t interrupted by someone acting like a fruit fly (remember, short attention span).

Currently, Michael is reading book 2 in The Wingfeather Saga.  The first book, On The Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness, had everyone captivated.  So captivated that our fruit fly, Haven, can easily tell you details of the story weeks later! This is huge, trust me.  To hear him using phrases like “ankle jelly manor” and “the fangs of Dang” pleases this mommy immensely.

In the interim between finishing book 1 and receiving book 2 Michael began reading the short story of Roverandum found in the Tolkien collection of short stories called Tales from the Perilous Realm. As soon as book 2, North! or Be Eaten, arrived poor Roverandum was voted out quickly in favor of continuing the Wingfeather Saga.

From a lover of writing’s perspective the comparison between Tolkien and Andrew Peterson is really no comparison at all.  Tolkien is poetic and fluid and deep.  Peterson is witty and detailed but certainly not masterful.

Last night as Michael began reading North! or Be Eaten you could have heard a pin drop. YEAH! All were paying attention, all were asking questions (which means they were paying attention) and none wanted to stop (but mean mommy puts an end to the reading at some point).

If you’re looking for a fun series to read as a family I highly recommend  The Wingfeather Saga by Andrew Peterson.

With each child I fully realize just how fast they grow up. I can remember Paisley’s birth like it was yesterday. It was a beautiful birth. A dream birth. (birth story at the end)

Everyone who meets Paisley falls in love. Is it the curls?  Big brown eyes?  Precious smile?? It’s definitely the whole package.  Her joyful spirit radiates.

**warning: I use terms that are familiar to anyone who has given birth, however if you are sensitive about those terms you might forgo the story.**

I had always read of women who felt the presence of the Lord during labor and who could actually relax their body and feel the baby moving along with just a bit of doubt that it was possible. I mean labor hurt and pushing was just flat out disgustingly horrendous. With that said…

On Wednesday December 13th, officially 41 weeks, I started doing everything I could to get this baby out. I did the six hours of homeopathics and took so much EPO I thought surely this baby will just slip out–but no. Thursday I thought what the heck, I’ll do the homeopathics again and finish off the bottle of EPO. Still no contractions. At 3pm Haley brought me the jump rope and the poor girl just couldn’t do it so I had to show her how. Finally a sign, albeit not the most impending sign, my mucous plug dislodged. I was excited that something had happened. I went and took a little nap.

About 6:30 after making enchiladas I went to turn on Wheel of Fortune and wait for Michael to get home. Before I could turn it on I felt that pinching of dilation in my cervix and decided to squat so the head would move down. **POP** Never felt that before. Definately a cool experience to feel your water break. I was a little scared of what that meant for the intensity of ctx to come since I had never labored without my waters intact. But more than scared I felt so much excitement. I had told Michael to stop and get some wine and/or beer on the way home but quickly called him to tell him to come straight home.

He was so excited! I had expected to be feeling ctx right away but that didn’t happen. I started feeling some ctx about 10pm but they were only 10 minutes apart. I was able to go to sleep at 10:30 and sleep for a couple of hours. At 1:15 the ctx started becoming 6 minutes apart. I called the midwife and my mom telling them they should make their way over, this was at 2:45. It would take the midwife and her asst. about 1 1/2 hour to get to me. After I made those calls the ctx went to about 3 minutes apart. When Hillary (midwife) arrived I asked if it was a good time to try out the bath, which I had wanted to attempt this time. However, I soon discovered that water birth is not for everyone. I mean a bath is relaxing but I was not interested in relaxing to the point of stopping ctx! I got out and immediately had a monster double ctx.

Michael and I went into the bedroom where the midwives were unpacking and I had Hillary check me. She said I was a very stretchy 8 and that if I felt the urge to push to go ahead. (I want to say that this made me feel so glad to have Hillary as my midwife! For the other 2 births I remember having to wait and wait until I was at that magic 10 and then I was “allowed” to push. How nice to be given the freedom to listen to my body and dictate the direction of my labor on my own. God has been so good to me when it comes to midwives…always providing the right one for each child!) So after having a couple of ctx standing up beside the bed I felt like I could push. Michael and I were left alone in the room after I was checked and they returned when they heard my moans turn to “pushy”.

I weakly pushed 2 times standing up and quickly voiced that I wanted to lay back on the bed. This was hard for me to say because I am so anti-supine when it comes to birth. But this is what I needed at this time. I reclined back on a couple of pillows, my mom behind me and Michael beside me. I began to push on the next ctx and got a huge cramp in my left gluteal. I got a nice butt massage and on the next ctx got the cramp again! I had a mini-panic and asked why it was happening. They suggested I roll on my left side and push that way.

YEAH! That position felt good and very easy to get traction when pushing.  This stage of labor was so different this time as compared to the first 2. After every ctx I literally took a nap! I kept asking “is this okay?”. I thought if I slept it would make labor stop…like it would stop at this point! I pushed for a few ctx then I got to that point where you say “I can’t do this!”. I remember Hillary saying those last 2 inches feel so long.

After that I realized that I didn’t have far to go and if I pushed really hard my baby would be out. I told my mom to go get the scripture and start reading to me. I repeated over and over “do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” (2chron 20:17). I never knew how powerful scripture would be during labor. Because of the scripture I prayed on I was able to push very efficiently. The next push they told me they could see the head. I was shocked. Sweat was literally pouring off of me!!

I told Michael to go get Haley. My mom got her and put her by my head. Right when she got there it hurt super bad and I started to say a bad word but thankfully I was in control of my tongue and stopped it. (This is evidence to me of the spiritual growth I have experienced over the years. With Haley’s birth I was completely out of control of my tongue and with Haven although better I still cussed when it got too difficult. I have prayed a lot over the years on scripture that talks about the tongue. You never really realize the progress you’ve made until you are put into a highly stressful situation. Praise God!)

The next ctx I pushed the head out slightly (Hillary called it turtleing) and then stopped. I didn’t know the head was almost out and Hillary calmly said “why don’t you push a little more and get the head out.” At that point I was determined to make these my last pushes. I pushed and pushed and pushed (there was no ctx at this pt) and out the baby came.

Because I was so focused I didn’t realize that there was quite a bit of manuvering going on with the baby. Apparently the shoulders wouldn’t turn so Hillary tried to help but I ended up pushing the shoulders out transverse. You can imagine my poor husbands astonishment at all this seeing as he is a chiropractor! But the first adjustment took place shortly after all that twisting! It was almost immediately that I asked what it was.

“It’s a girl!” I knew all along it was another princess. This whole time Haley never said a word, but her eyes were as big as half dollars! We had a name picked out for a girl and announced her as Paisley Elizabeth. Haley got to cut the cord. She did so good, she jumped a little when she saw blood (I think she thought she hurt her baby sister).

I held Paisley for a long time before I just had to know how much she weighed. This whole pregnancy I felt small and was certain she would be around 7 1/2lbs. Everyone in the room made their guesses and we were all surprised to find she actually weighed 8 lbs 12 oz. Her other measurements were: head 14 3/4″, length 20 1/2″.

Paisley surprised me again when she started nursing right away. Neither Haley nor Haven nursed for the first 24 hours. Paisley is now 3 weeks old and life has been so fun. With 1 and even 2 kids it wasn’t that much of an adjustment. I am finding that with 3 I don’t have enough time in the day! At the end of the day I have laundry and dishes still left to do and that never happened before Paisley. But I am sure I will develop a routine once Paisley is older. She is an awesome sleeper and nurser…what more could I ask for?!

Scripture used in labor:
*Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. 2Chronicles 20:17
*I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. Psalm 119:10
*Jesus looked at them and said,”with man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” Mark 10:27
*…God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” Hebrews 13: 5-6
*But he said to me,”My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
*The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. Psalm 145: 18-19

***Update: I’m going to leave this post for all to see but after reading it hours later I realize just how pathetic I sound. Forgive me for exposing this side of me.***
I know, I make it look easy.

But, really it’s not.

At this point you should heed the warning sign below. All other talk that will spew from my mouth could very well destroy the smile that that cute kitty above provided you. Take it or leave it. That’s my warning. I’m pretty sure I have no grounds for excuse in this self-pity party.

Now that you’ve been warned…

I’m tired. It’s not like I don’t get a nap everyday, but I’m still tired. Tired of the same thing over and over. I know routine is good for kids and that is what training is all about- repetition and consistency. But, it’s killing me!

How many times do I have to say “Don’t get on my ball” or “go brush your teeth” ?

Worse than all that is the extreme patience a homeschooling mom must have. I’m not talking the kind of patience it takes to stand in a Walmart return line. No. That’s cake. In the Walmart return line you can be entertained by the strange characters or whip out your phone and text a friend.

Homeschooling is much harder. Sitting in a chair repeating over and over for 30 minutes, “what sound does ‘i’ make?” will draw even the most sane people to the edge of insanity.

Don’t stop though, lest that child think he wins. No, not this stubborn mama (see my stubbornness can be a positive).

By golly, he will say those 3 sounds. And he did, but I now have 335 new gray hairs.

When I’m having one of these kinds of days is when everything tumbles. I pick up a bag of chocolate chips and they all fall out a slit down the side. I cut up apples and drop some on the floor. My assistance is needed in 4 (so far today) bathroom visits or diapers. I need to go grocery shopping.

What would make everything better? Hmm. How can I say this in the most gentle, respectful way?..

I’d be filled with joy if Michael could play the role of a girlfriend and hug me and comfort me and tell me it will be okay. I know that’s hard for men, they’re fixers. The “fix” just happens to be a hug and reassuring words and that’s not always what a husband thinks.

Again, I really mean all that with great respect for my husband. No husband bashing from me…after all he does read this blog!

So, where does a homeschooling mom turn when she’s on the verge of losing it? Well, I like to run to the garage or bathroom for a quick cry. It goes without saying that I am in constant prayer the whole time I am going through these trials.

I’ve never liked it when people say, “well, I asked for patience and God gave me a chance to learn it.” Whether I ask for patience or not there are plenty of opportunities to learn it.  When I ask God daily for patience He abundantly provides.  It’s on those days that I don’t lose it during the times when I need to be a rock (like when I will not relent to my son’s refusal to answer questions).

Had I not asked for patience this situation would have still presented itself and I would have probably yelled. Not good.

Homeschooling isn’t easy. Homeschooling is best, though. No doubt. I’ll take the hard road any day when it means more time with my children and honoring God by “training my children in the way they should go so that when they are old they will not depart from it”. Prov. 22:6

]]> http://kerrvillehomeschoolers.com/homeschooling-isnt-always-easy/feed 2 http://kerrvillehomeschoolers.com/my-thankful-list-for-2010 http://kerrvillehomeschoolers.com/my-thankful-list-for-2010#comments Thu, 25 Nov 2010 03:57:07 +0000 autumn http://kerrvillehomeschoolers.com/?p=571

1. Substantial and exponential growth in knowledge of the Bible. This year I will have read through the Bible in full for the first time!

2. My church family. It seems unreal to be part of a church where the people are so genuinely kind. How sad is that?! Shouldn’t I expect this? Well, yes, but it wasn’t until recently that we were part of smaller church filled with believers. A friend called today and said they wouldn’t be able to make Paisley’s birthday party but that they still wanted to get a gift..she went on and on and I kind of drifted off into this thought that I was living in Pleasantville. Who are these nice people and what have they done with the “normal” ones?

3. Haley. For those with a daughter that is 100% about helping you all the time you know what I mean. I can’t imagine that if my first born was a son it would be this way…I could be wrong.

Although she’s only 8, Haley cooks, cleans, takes care of sick babies, changes diapers, does laundry…really anything I do or don’t ask of her. Yesterday, she did her grammar on her own! I won’t say it’s because her mother was tired and needed a nap and forgot to assign her something…

I’m also grateful for the blessings each of my other children bestow upon me. Even this tiny one growing inside me!! I can NOT wait to meet him or her. Only 4 more weeks, give or take

4. Michael working from home. And no I don’t just say this because I get to take a nap everyday. Sheesh.  I love that we eat every meal together, see each other all day, get up when we want to (although my watch alarm has been set for 7 for weeks, we’ve only gotten up at that time once) which is about 8, homeschool as a family-Michael handles the Greek and recitation, teach our children the Word when we wake up and when we lay down and we get to run errands together (Starbucks). Pretty blessed

5. My “real” blog. You know the one that I actually post on and make money through. I can’t even begin to describe what a lesson God has taught me with All About Cloth Diapers. First, if you want to make money blogging, you can. Second, God can bless anything, even a blog about poop catchers. Third, hard work and dedication actually do pay off.

6. The ability to homeschool my children without really any state restrictions. We have so much freedom in Texas. Aside from political freedom, I’m grateful for the freedom to go camping or to San Antonio or visit family anytime of the year. Love it.

7. A home. No, it’s not “our” home but it’s a home. I am blessed to live in a beautiful rental property. I pray for that glorious day when we are debt free and can buy our dream property but for now I am content. Honestly.  And speaking of homes, I am thankful that the Lord provided us with a buyer for our home north of Denton. That is a huge answer to prayers!

I’ll stop at 7 since it is the complete number and all and since I could go on and on and on.

One more though, I am grateful for all 5 of y’all that read this precious blog. hehehe